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It's cold outside.



Now I am in the depths of my second winter an unspoken question rolls around like a bad taste in my mouth; will it always be colder without you.


Even in the summer the days seem colder, like the sun isn't even shining at all. Like I can't feel the giddiness or excitement that comes with the sunshine, I don't even remember how it feels, and if the summer feels grey it's only natural that the winter will be a darker shade.

Granted, my first winter left me in a deep pit of depression where I wishfully wanted to fall down the crack between the wall and the bed and cease to exist. Where I imagined myself falling face first in to a puddle and not caring to get up. I think I can safely say that nothing could be worse than how I felt that winter, but I also can't deny the fact that without you, the world isn't the right shade and more.


My only desire is to be held by you, and feel the warmth of your skin against mine, to snuggle with you, and let that fight away the bitter edge of winter, that runs it's sharp blade across my skin on a daily basis, but that is not to be, and now I am forced to ask the question, will it always be like this?


I can only hope not.




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