17th July.. Your birthday
I'm sorry about yesterday.. I was full of uncontrollable rage and emotion.. And yea, It got directed at you.. But I love you so deeply..
My sister picked me up today. I messeged her yesterday and told her I couldn't handle life right now. She hates last minute me and my whole family are a snivelling pile of anxiety ,... But she still came. She gave me a big squeeze! I felt the tears welling up but I held them back like a big girl. I didn't tell the refuge I was leaving. I just put the forms in haha 4 forms saying I was staying from one place to the next.. Quickly ran away like a pro.. I explained the situation in a covering letter about your birthday and how I planned to leave later but we'll.. Just needed to go. I realised this morning that I would be gone for o er 4 weeks.. I hope the place doesn't go to pot with out me.. Like last time I went away
I'm sorry about yesterday. I clearly wasn't dealing well with life.
I tried to record myself singing but I didn't have a mic.. Just phone headset and the wind would not disist 😒
You can get proper out door ones right? .. Maybe I'll look online..
Boo picked you some baby pop heads.. Sweet little thing..
She sent them out to sea for you because she knew they would find you there..
It's late.. 20 past 12..
I'm super tired but I had to stay up.. Just so I could stand outside like a big girl 😂
Living there, I do feel like a teenager creeping around my nan. But, so do a lot of the other girls..
I posted the fist day of my blog today.. My first messege to you on the day I left.. May 20th
You wanted me to write a blog. You wanted people to hear what I had to say but I only cared about your opinion on my writing and my views. Now I'll only doubt myself.. I haven't vetted it.. My messeges to you are just how I would write them.. Every thought. Every view. Every grevience. You wouldn't have it any other way.. You didn't care what people thought of you and I will try hard not to care about what any one thinks.
It's a shame we couldn't get our house in the county together.. Or start the business we planned.. Or adopt all the world's children.. Or buy the properties we were looking at abroad..
Maybe you've started our plans without me.. In elysium.. (that's clearly where you would be, a fine specimen like yourself) wait for me..
I'll hold your hand again Mi Amor.
Happy birthday xx